"We pour stiff drinks and the same beer you stole from your Dad's garage fridge back in the day."
Welcome to Stella's, providing downtown Grand Rapids with a strong dose of kitsch, whiskey, and a menu that puts all other bar food to shame.
In a day where most bars try to pawn themselves off to the public as the coolest and hippest place to be seen, Stella's does just the opposite. Boasting
"strong drinks, cheap beer, loud music, no bullshit," Stella's is a quirky and unpretentious change of scenery. Plus, they offer 200 different kinds of whiskey. Who can resist that?
Marketed as a mix of 80s punk rock bar and the basement you hung out in when you were in high school, Stella's is blasting loud music constantly; the walls are covered with graffiti and murals that seem straight from someone's acid trip; the bar plastered with concert ticket stubs; and the tables scratched up more than a high school bathroom stall. Most impressive, the entire back wall is a giant chalk board covered with the high scores of fellow bar goers, straight from Stella's own vintage arcade game collection.
But let's focus on what's most important here: food and drinks, of course. Like previously said, Stella's offers over 200 different kinds of whiskeys, from Black Velvet and Jim Beam to Pappy Van Winkle, a 23 year aged, 96 proof American Bourbon. House beers are Rolling Rock and PBR, costing $2.50 and served in mason jars. For those with a sense of nostalgia and humor, go for a 24 can of Mickey's or Colt 45 served in nothing less than a paper bag.
Image courtesy of Michelle Sellers
The food menu is full of hearty bar favorites like burgers and nachos, but like everything else in Stella's, there's a definite twist: almost all meat items on the menu are available in vegetarian or vegan form. This ranges from lentil burgers stuffed with tempeh bacon and pesto; Philly style "steak and cheese" made with seasoned tempeh, sauteed onions, peppers and mushrooms; to the "Blessed Black Wings," housemade vegan wings served hot or mild. Everything is well seasoned, and for those who like to load their food up with extra hot sauce and lots of pepper, you'll be more than pleased.
On this particular evening, I strayed from my usual path and branched out to try one of their 100% black angus beef burgers. Our waiter endured a bit of an interrogation from me (sorry!) as I couldn't decide on their house cut chips, chronic fries (they live up to their name), or onion rings. He steered me towards the chips (which of the three, don't have a $2 up charge) saying that he himself was a tightwad with money and that I wouldn't be disappointed. But that's what's great about Stella's. Like their "no bullshit" motto, the servers are friendly and honest.
They offer three beef burgers on the menu, all stuffed. I decided on the "Hot Stuff Stuffed Burger," stuffed with jalapenos and pepper-jack, with "super" hot mustard, cooked medium rare. When it came out, both the chips and the burger were piping hot, the burger cooked exactly like ordered. What I liked was that the burger itself was pretty plainly seasoned so that the stuffing could do the talking, and holy crap, that jalapeno and pepper-jack center did not shut up. First bite in, the spicy stuffing was oozing everywhere. One other thing you need to know, the "spicy" mustard on the side is not to be taken lightly. I literally was in tears three dips of chips into the meal.
You can't really beat the price. For a Rolling Rock and a burger, I only spent $12.95. Can't beat something that's good on the stomach and the wallet. For those of you under 21, don't fear! You can check out this sweet spot to until 8 PM everyday. All in all, if you're in Grand Rapids, and you've never experienced Stella's before, you need to jump on the bandwagon and get a drink and a burger, be you vegan, vegetarian, or absolutely carnivorous.
Stella's Lounge
53 Commerce Ave.
Grand Rapids, MI
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